the first AMENDment of recovery

When I woke up this morning I had a headache the size of Texas. I didn't want to get out of bed, much less get up and take care of my responsibilities or type up a note for this blog. I didn't care. And then two little boys pounced on me and told me "I love you Mommy, good morning!"

How many times do we find it difficult to get up and face the consequences of our actions? Or own up to our mistakes? Or worse yet, admit to the person we harmed that we made a mistake? It is a humbling experience, I can tell you for sure. But I can also assure you that it has to be one of the most freeing things you will ever do! You are not only setting yourself free, but you are also setting the other person free. When I made my amends to my ex-husband, there weren't any glorious fireworks. He didn't have anything astounding to say to me. He just said thank you. Over the course of the past two years, we have had many a disagreement, but we also have come to the realization that what we really want is what is best for our boys. We don't always agree on what that is, but the fact that we can talk openly and maintain a friendly relationship of sorts dates right back to the day that I made my amends and cleared him from my anger and resentment. Amends brought down the walls of hurt in our relationship even though we still are divorced.

So what are we learning about in our Amends lesson? Making amends is not so much about your past as it is about your future! How? By being WILLING to make amends to the people you have harmed. It's not something you have to jump out and do right this minute. Remember we are taking our recovery one step, one day at a time. Just be willing! Just consider it! You see, when my boys pounced on me, I saw my future. I saw the reason I had to get out of bed, wrestle through the pain,  and go DO.

I know this concept of forgiving or making amends is difficult for abuse victims to swallow. But let me encourage you by saying it CAN be done! I know, because I have done it. I didn't like this particular step until I read how Step 8 was reworded for my abuse recovery: "Make a list of all persons who have harmed us and become willing to seek God’s help in forgiving our perpetrators, as well as forgiving ourselves. Realize we’ve also harmed others and become willing to make amends to them."

Lets take a look at the acrostic we have for AMENDS:

Admit the hurt and the harm....getting it out in the open allows us to confront the hurt and allow objective reasoning to take the place of the excuses we have had to hold on to the hurt. 

Make a list...why? Isn't easier to remember what we had to get at the grocery store when we made a list? In our pain, we tend to forget what our goal really is. Making a list helps us focus on the specific hurts we must face and overcome and how. 

Encourage one another...we cannot do this alone and expect to find ourselves completely made whole. This is where UNITY kicks in and why we have sponsors and accountability partners. We are here to encourage and support each other...not fix each other. If we could fix each other, none of us would have any problems left to fix! We encourage each other by placing each other first. We encourage by lifting each other up in prayer, showing our gratitude, serving others and God, and by showing and sharing the love of Jesus with everyone else around us. We LIVE our own encouragement when we do this. 

Not for them...this means it's for YOU! While you set the other person free by planting a seed of forgiveness, the main focus is that making amends and forgiving sets YOU free for life! You get to live again, guilt-free, shame-free, resentment-free, hatred-free...are you getting the idea? That alone will change your life because you will now HAVE life! No more hang-ups! 

Do it at the right time...Why can't I do it when I feel like it? Remember what we have learned so far about taking things one day at a time. There is a scripture and song that says "there is a time and a season for every purpose under heaven." It is important to wait on God's timing. There will be a specific opportunity for you to make your amends. But first we must seek God's guidance, take the time to step into a courageous but humble attitude, use good judgment, and make sure that our amends does not hurt the other person.

Start living the promises of recovery...today! We can't have an awesome game-winning season of football without first practicing together as a team. When we play our part and practice it each day, we become more comfortable in our new roles. We learn to recognize, accept, and extend peace and serenity. We learn to become willing to embrace God's purpose for our lives when we can see the doors opened before because we took the time to wait on His presence to guide us each day.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change and the courage to change the things I CAN...! I can change ME when I yield control to my Higher Power...Jesus Christ!

CR CANCELLED TONIGHT

CR IS CANCELLED TONIGHT DUE TO THE FORECAST OF SEVERE WEATHER. RUSTY WANTS EVERYONE TO STAY SAFE!!!!!     WE WILL SEE YOU AGAIN NEXT WEDNESDAY FOR STEP STUDY AND NEXT FRIDAY FOR CR.

THE LESSONS WILL BE MOVED DOWN ONE WEEK. HOWEVER THE FOOD SCHEDULE AND ASSIGNMENTS WILL STAY ON SCHEDULE. SO, THE FOOD TEAM FOR NEXT WEEK IS TEAM 2  AS WELL AS THE ASSIGNMENT TEAM. (THAT IS THE SPAGHETTI TEAM)

PLEASE CALL PEOPLE FROM YOUR CLASSES TO LET THEM KNOW IF YOU CAN. 

IF YOU ARE AT WORK AND CANNOT CALL PLEASE MESSAGE ME AND LET ME KNOW WHO NEEDS TO BE CALLED ALONG WITH THEIR TELEPHONE NUMBERS.

  STAY SAFE...WE LOVE YOU. SALLY
 

VICTORY

This morning when I awoke I had these thoughts come to me,  so I went to the computer and began typing.   Here is what I have---

                                    V – Voluntarily submit

                                    I  – Identify character defects

                                    C – Change your mind

                                    T – Turn over character defects

                                    O – One day at a time

                                    R – Recovery is a process

                                    Y – You must choose to change

1 Corinthians 15:57
But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

I remember when I was 13 years old, I asked Jesus into my heart.  I remember there was a song that touched me and as I was growing up it was one of my favorite songs.  This song came into my heart this morning as I thought about how my friend and I would sing this old hymn together at church.  The  old hymn “Victory in Jesus”  rings through my spirit and I want to share  the verses that I used to sing:

I heard an old, Old story How a Savior came From glory

How he gave his life On Calvary To save someone like me

Oh, victory in Jesus, My Savior forever He sought me

And he bought me With his redeeming blood                       

He loved me Ere I knew him And all my love Is due him

He plunged me to victory Beneath the

Cleansing flood And then I cried "Dear Jesus,

Come and heal My broken spirit"  And some how Jesus

Came and brought to me the victory

When I was given the opportunity to write a blog on “Victory” this song was the first thing that popped in my head.  I used to sing just words back then.  But now, I have experienced those words and it has become my story, too.

I honestly never really knew Jesus until  about 4 years ago when my life was falling apart.   I had nowhere to turn , and He was my last hope.   I was a complete mess.   His love amazes me how he sought me and he bought me with his redeeming blood and he plunged me to victory beneath the cleansing flood.   If my spirit becomes broken, He comes and heals me every time  and gives me victory through Him.

From the day we are able to hear the world speak we are fed lies of how we are supposed to live, eat, and breathe.   The enemy attacks us to make us feel   like failures in every area of our lives.  Every trial we face we can allow to break us or make us. We have to choose to let God have control of us.

Addictions, habits, and hang-ups are not easy to recover  from, but with victory in Jesus he can make us stronger to face each new day.  It sounds easy.    However, there are times it’s very hard… and those times if we are not asking for his strength we will fall flat on our face.    Believe me I know!

No matter what we go through, He is right there holding us because  He loves us so.  We can’t change the past but we can change our future by allowing God to point out things in our lives that need changing.  And,  after we have made up our minds to be ready,  we will have victory.

                                                                                                                              by Bonnie Causey

Special Guest Speaker: Chris Hammond

We will have the honor of having Chris Hammond give his testimony tonight at our Celebrate Recovery Large Group time. Chris is a retired Major League Baseball pitcher who lives in the area, and has learned some vital lessons regarding his relationship with Jesus that will inspire and encourage us along our Road to Recovery. Chris is also the founder of Chris Hammond Youth Foundation. This foundation reaches out to communities to help them build sports-related recreational facilities and parks in the rural areas where help is needed the most.
Please come join us tonight as we welcome Chris Hammond into our CR family.

Lesson 13--Admit / Lesson 14--Ready

For the past two weeks we have been learning that admitting our hurts, habits, and hangups to ourselves and someone else we trust is one of the most "free-ing" principles in our recovery. It is at this point-- when we are ready to share our inner most secrets with someone-- that we are commiting to God that we are most definitely READY for him to remove our character defects.  During these past weeks, we have had two wonderful lessons that are POWERFUL aspects in the recovery process. A great big thank you to our leader Nathan Waid for his insightful presention of Admit ; and kudos to Carol Cohill as she helped us to understand  why it is important to be Ready to share what we have discovered about ourselves with someone we trust.

   We have learned that we can face our fears and they are not really so big after all.  I love this picture because it depicts this journey that we are on so well. Look at this picture closely.  It is the nature of these two animals to react violently towards each other. But they are not.  It is the dogs' nature to chase the cat and tear it from limb to limb--to kill it. It is the cat's nature to arch its back and hiss when it encounters a dog--and run or fight back. Yet in this picture,it is calmly strolling through the valley of potential death.  Why can this happen?  How can this be?   Both these  animal species have been taught to overcome their basic nature.   The police dogs have been trained to obey and not move until their master tells them it is OK to move.  That is what the twelve steps of CR helps us to learn.  It is the process for us  to learn to listen for our Master.  If we allow Him to,  He can teach us to sit quietly and listen before we act.  We can learn to rise above our basic nature--our human nature and allow God to train us so that we can face any adversity, trial, or tribulation without fear or doubt.  It is about Trust.   We can learn to calmly stroll through life trusting that someone else--our God--our Savior has our back.   Are you Ready?

This week we look forward to hearing Carol as she shares her testimony for the first time.  Carol has learned to Trust.  She will enlighten us about what she has discovered about the importance of admitting and sharing her hurts, habits, and hangups with someone--how she learned to trust.   It has been a privelege to witness Carol's journey as she stands more firmly on God's word.   She has grown deeper roots and as her roots grew she blossomed.  There is a light that emanates from her and joy encompasses her.   I personally am in AWE of her breadth of knowledge and understanding of who she is in Christ. She is learning to overcome her fears and doubts as she strolls through the adversities of life.  She is my hero.

Do you know what?    Do you know you are a hero, too?     You have gone on an inward journey to discover who you are.  While on this journey you have encountered many negative thoughts, behavior patterns, and deeds about yourself that you have not wanted to ADMIT.   And, you have not quit.   Now, you are READY to let go and allow someone else to know you, too.   You are willing to be willing to be willing to take the chance to step out in faith and share your life with someone else. You are ready to Trust.   That is BRAVE!   For that reason my friends, you are heroes!!!

Praise Report: What CR and God Can Do For YOU!

Please meet Bonnie Causey, one of our participants in Women's A to Z Recovery group. She has been a real trooper, quite the encourager, and a blessing to many broken women who have come to CR seeking help like she did. Below is her letter to our senior pastor, Pastor Kent Mattox.

"I was reading in my Beth Moore bible study this morning about God's heroes.  It asked the question "who was my hero of Faith?"  I started thinking of all the people I know. Heroes are not perfect. They live to serve and honor God.  So I wanted to tell pastor Kent he is my hero in faith.  How he teaches has changed my life. We live in a world that is lost in religion with souls wandering and miserable with no hope unless we get them to Jesus. I started coming to word alive Jan 2011. Then began CR in Feb 2011 for A-Z; my life was a complete mess. I really was at the end of my rope. The enemy was pulling me to the dark side trying to talk me into hurting myself. The Lord kept fighting for me. All the hurt that was on the inside was almost more than I could bare. I was broken.  When I came to your Ministry of the Spirit class; what you taught about the holy spirit turned on the light bulb in my brain, and my life has never been the same. The Holy Spirit rocks my life now! Then coming to Celebrate Recovery has taught me so much about me, and has brought me to a closer walk with understanding and trusting God. The biggest ever message was Romans 7:18 [For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.]  That changed my whole life to know God loves me, and I'm beautifully flawed and its okay...just love God with all my heart. Serve others as Christ did.

It's that simple; life is just lessons to make us stronger. I'm hoping to be a leader in CR soon. I didn't walk this road for nothing; God has a purpose [for me]. He told me so when I walked in the doors of Word Alive last January; He said "you are home and you will do great things." At that time, heck, I didn't even know He could talk to me like that. I look back now, and I truly understand. My life now is good-- no more crazy thoughts...I like my husband better!  I think I can even love him better because the Lord has taken me down the road of real true love...the hardest ever thing to do is to love someone like you have never been hurt...I didnt think that would ever be possible or even if that it existed...but with Jesus...let me tell you He can mend pieces of your heart really awesome. I bet my heart has J band-aids all over it. I think after each wound is healed, He removes each of His band aids and then puts his signature tatooed in the middle saying: "Jesus was here." Thank you for listening to me, and remember you are also God's hero, too (Hebrews 11). Keep up the awesome work. Love, Bonnie" 

Lesson 12: Confess

Last week Pam Endress taught us the Confess lesson. We got to hear how Pam survived a terrible car accident that robbed her of her nursing career and many freedoms we take for granted. And yet in the midst of those circumstances God sent people her way to encourage her through this time. She talked of how confessing her thoughts in Celebrate Recovery led to her being set free from bitterness.

As tough as it sounds to do, the Catholics have this step down pat! When we Confess our shortcomings, resentments, and sins, we begin letting go of our selfishness. As we do that, we learn to Obey God's direction for our lives and find that we have No more guilt that controls our behaviors. When we Face the truth of the negative character traits we have developed, we find that Jesus Eases the pain as we let go of those old behavior patterns. Once that pain begins to ebb, we learn that we have the strength to Stop the blame and start owning up to our own responsibilities. In doing so, we Start accepting God's control over our lives.


Friday night, we will have the honor of having Barbara Yates give her testimony. You will get to hear how she came to Celebrate Recovery just to find out what was going on. You will hear about how perfect she was, and all the problems she just didn't have. And as she started listening to others confessing their own shortcomings, resentments, and sins, she soon heard herself saying "hey that's me" to many an ugly truth about herself. She lived failure everyday in the form of stress, anger, guilt, shame, and overeating. She will tell you, everyone talks about obvious addictions like drugs or alcohol, but no one talks about internal addictions or addictions to one's self. Barbara found that Confessing her shortcomings freed her to do so much more with her own life than she ever thought could be possible. She finally could start accepting God and in turn accepting herself for who she really is.

In John 8:12, Jesus said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." Have you ever noticed that a person who speaks the truth is always at ease? Come join us as we learn to stop hiding in the darkness and let the light of Christ expose us to ourselves so that we can be healed. We will not be doing this alone. We have accountability partners and sponsors who will help us along the way and show us that there is nothing to fear in the light.